It’s the 29th day of February, the first day I’m going to write in this blog and honestly, I don’t feel any excitement at all.
I hate thinking that I’m just writing a post because I want that feeling of having a blog… I don’t really know why I’m typing here but something inside me is like pushing me to create an account and type all my thoughts so I’d be immortal… in a way. Is immortal the right word to use? I don’t know. I’m not sure. I don’t really want to be immortal through my words. I think I cannot say I can be considered immortal just because I post something that reaches other people. And being immortal also feels a bit scary… It’s like still existing even though you’re not really there. Maybe I’m doing this because I tend to forget things a lot… not just things, but I forget my feelings too… So this blog will serve as a reminder to me (it sounds so selfish though) of the places I’ve been; of the people I’ve met; of the lessons I’ve learned; and various emotions I felt in some moments of my life. But why do I have to create a blog and not just buy a diary and write with my own hands? The first set of reasons is that I’m too lazy to even hold a pen, I erase words a lot, and I’m not that fond of my own handwriting. The second reason is I want to share my thoughts to other people, having the slightest hope that I may be of ‘help’ to the ones reading my posts too.
I’m a quote lover, a quote addict, and if you’d take a look at my Facebook profile, it is full of someone else’s lines… I am still in love with quotes, and I admire other people’s thoughts reflected by the words they utter so I’m not going to stop reading, watching, and listening to meet those thoughts. It’s just that as time passes by, I get this feeling that I’m exploiting other people’s thoughts while ignoring the ones inside my mind.
I’m just tired of not ‘saving’ my thoughts and always quoting other people’s words so I can inspire myself and others. I feel like I’m just a messenger of someone else’s idea and that my mind is slowly deteriorating because of that. I thought that I should trust myself too, that I’m capable of writing something that can turn one’s life around.. no, that’s too much.. I don’t really think I could do that. Haha. I just want to put my thoughts into something visible, something that can be revisited for many times. For 22 years now, well maybe just 19 (because I’m sure I can’t think of something useful until I was 4), I’ve been incognizant of the help my brain has been giving me. I shall give thanks to it for helping me graduate last year, and so this is my gift for my own brain… my first official blog! 🙂
What shall I write here? I don’t know. I like surprises so I want to surprise myself too. Although I used to write lots of plans and new year’s resolution every year, I don’t want to put a limit to the things I should write about. But even though I just said I want my own thoughts to be seen, I don’t think I could ever stop quoting someone else’s words, especially when they’re really unforgettable to me. It doesn’t hurt mixing the thoughts I have with the thoughts I’ve learned right?
Since it is leap year, and it is the 29th of February, (I already typed this in the first part. Yes, I like repetition!) I’m going to share some lines from the movie entitled ‘Leap Year’. It is my bestfriend’s favorite movie and… I just started to remind myself of that fact. Her name’s Phoebe and I remember when she persuaded us (me and my other bestfriend, Joy) to watch this movie because she thinks it’s good. It was 30% boring for me, and I actually didn’t like the main actress (just because of the reason I did not know her before I watched the said movie). After watching it, I told her it was so so… but since I’m a quote lover (how many times do I have to repeat this? T_T), I just can’t say I completely hate this movie because it’s something worth remembering. As for someone like me who feels like she has a selective amnesia, (I forget the movies I have watched, so when I watch those movies again; it’s like I’m watching it for the first time… It isn’t good when I want to retain information I learned in the past… It isn’t really good) I think the reason why I can’t forget this movie is because of some lines in it that I want to share with you now.
Let the sharing begin!
Bride: May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn’t live a day without you. Cheers!
Anna: When my 60 seconds came around i realized i had everything i ever wanted… but nothing i really needed. and i think what i need is here. and i came all this way to see if you maybe think so too. If you do, well… i don’t really have plans past that, which is new for me. So, Declan O’Callhan and i should probably learn your middle name, here is my proposal; i propose we not make plans, i propose we give this thing a chance and let it work out how it works out. so what do you say, do you wanna not make plans with me?
Declan: I don’t want not to make plans with you. I want to make plans with you.
Anna: You do?
Declan: Yeah I do.
I hope I’d be able to regularly update this blog!
I don’t really want to disappoint my brain.
Happy Leap Year everyone!